JANUARY 10, 2024
Redefine your fears for a breakthrough year
Today, I want to share one of the strategies that by far have changed my life the most.
I’m not alone.
Tim Ferris, best-selling author of The 4-Hour Workweek and host of one of the top podcasts in the world, attributes his "biggest business and personal successes" to this strategy.
(He describes his entire process in this blog post. I highly recommend it for further reading. There’s a ton of helpful reflection questions at the end.)
Let's dig in 🔥
It is your fears – not your goals – that define who you become
While everyone is focusing on goal-setting in January, the life-changing strategy I'm referring to is fear-setting.
It's about confronting and leveraging your fears to unlock your courage and achieve things that might seem impossible.
Before we get into the details, here are two important things to understand about fear:
1) Often, we don't even realize it's fear holding us back.
We make excuses, delay action, or convince ourselves we're just being rational.
You may have told yourself that you're just waiting for the right moment, that it'll get better once X happens (more money, more time...), or that it's just not a reasonable thing to do.
But the truth remains: fear drives most of our (in)action.
The classic question: "What would you do if you knew for certain that it could not fail?" is a good guide here.
2) Fear grows in the dark, and shrinks in the light.
What do I mean by that? Vague fears are the most paralyzing.
The unknown is often like that.
Fearing something that may happen somehow, someday leaves you entirely powerless.
The unknown (or whatever else scares you) becomes a lot less scary when you shine a light on it.
By getting clear on exactly what it is you fear, and thinking through the bigger picture, you take back control.
So here's how to fear-set 👇
4 Steps to unlock your courage
Step 1: NAME IT
Write down what you're afraid of. Be specific! "I'm afraid of failure" is vague. What kind of failure?
What does the worst case scenario look like exactly? How bad is it, from 1-10, with 10 being "permanently ruined my life"?
For example, some of my fears when I started @themindfriend were “I will get hate comments” (2), “People will laugh at me” (4), and “I won’t be able to keep up” (3)
[Note: my fears are shortened for the sake of this email. Do not hold back on the detail.]
Step 2: THEN WHAT
Go on, go down the rabbit hole. Your worst fear happens... and then what?
Is it game over? Is it a setback? Could you get things back under control? How?
I’ll spare you my how's, but for all the fears I mentioned above, I knew it wouldn’t be permanent game over. I could find ways to recover.
Step 3: FLIP IT
Humor me. Imagine you face your fear and it goes... well!? What would be the best possible outcome? How great would that impact be, from 1-10, with 10 being permanent positive change?
For example, “My content helps people” (8), “I build a supportive community” (8), “My business supports me as I travel the world” (9).
[Note: the impact rating isn't always higher than the fear rating... but often it is, and by a lot.]
Step 4: PAY THE PRICE
Finally, set the price of inaction. If you let your fear win, and you do... absolutely nothing. What's that going to cost you, not just in cash but in dreams and self-pride?
My answer was often: Regret. It will cost me so much regret. Constantly asking myself what.
That's it. Four steps that, when combined, become life-changing.
So, my friend: what are you not pursuing out of fear?
Let me be clear: It’s 100% okay (and entirely human) to feel fear.
But you're sacrificing your dreams by waiting. Fear-setting puts you back in the driver’s seat.
Please know this: You will never not have fear, you will get better at dealing with it.
Shine a light on your fears, then do it scared, and watch your life change.
Rooting for you,
Charlotte
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Hi, I'm Charlotte. I help ambitious women start and grow online businesses that aren't just successful, but also provide joy and freedom.
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